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1月15日雅思作文整体点评

2011-01-27

来源:

小编: 90
摘要:

【图表作文】
小作文还是pie chart,一共3个饼状图, 是1965,1985 ,2005年英国某座公路桥上通过的车辆的类型, 其中private cars 始终是最大的, 从1965的50%涨到了2005的74%。此外motor也小幅增长了,但是public的比例却是  gradual decrease, 然后剩下的一种车辆(不认识名字)是先增后降
【杨老师点评】
虽然还是pie chart,但与1月8日的考题不同.这次的考题,题目中包含1965,1985,2005三个时间.一次,属于典型题目一:既有不同的时间,也有不同的对象.应该更好写.这道题,和我写的"7周轻松突破雅思写作拿7分"一书P275页的图应该是一样的,都是3个时间,四种交通类型,有这本书的同学可以参考一下.
【话题作文】
Now more and more companies like to employ equal number of men and women workers. Do you think it is positive or negative for social development?

【杨老师点评】
大作文是gender问题。与我预测的第8题基本相同.我预测的第8题是"女性参军",此题是"女性工作".我在课堂上还提过"大学在任何专业都招收相同数目的男生和女生",和这道题也很相像."男女平等"类话题终于考一次了.在2个月内应该不会再考这类话题了.我写的"7周轻松突破雅思写作拿7分"P216有"女性参军"题目的范文.我写的"雅思写作官方题库范文大全"一书中"男女平等"类话题的范文更多.

【参考论点】  北京 孔文静老师

文章可按照以下框架论述:
(观点是支持男女平等的,即题干中的positive for the social development)
论点1
The majority of women (55 percent) and men (57 percent) participants aspire to reach the most senior role in their organization. In addition,  some experts suggest that, in reaching for the top, men and women have used many of the same advancement strategies, including exceeding performance expectations, successfully managing others, seeking high-visibility assignments, and demonstrating expertise. They also experience a number of similar barriers along the way, such as lack of line experience, displaying a style different from the organizational norm, and lack of understanding of organizational politics.
论点2
Men and women are also similar in their desire for workplace flexibility, demonstrating that balancing work and personal responsibilities is not simply a women’s issue. Although women face more challenges in achieving work/life balance, women and men equally desire a variety of informal and formal flexible work arrangements. Clearly, workplace flexibility is no longer just about women and child care, but is more likely a quality of life issue for all employees.
提出虽然有上述客观理由证明女性在职场上可以与男性一样优秀,但是现状并不理想(即女性的职场发展仍有各种问题)。通过让步状语从句引出问题,随即展开讨论,提出解决办法
Despite similar ambitions, the number of women at the top remains low compared to the number of men. Although women and men experience many of the same barriers to success, women face a host of stereotypes and environmental challenges that their male colleagues do not, including exclusion from informal networks, gender-based stereotypes, lack of role models, and inhospitable corporate culture. In addition, women are significantly more likely than men to face challenges balancing their work and personal lives. They have also made more choices and trade-offs between their work and personal lives.

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